Best Jokes ;)
These are some of the Best Jokes I've come across from all the emails I received from friends and relatives across the world. I will compile them here and hope that you too will enjoy them as much as I do. Just in case you find any of them offensive or that you know the author, let me know and I'll credit them accordingly.
Collection of Funny Stories
- Inspiring One Liners
If time doesn't wait for you, don't worry! Just remove the battery from the clock and enjoy life!
Men's and women's needs differ - why? Maybe you'll understand after reading this.
- What a Woman Truly Wants?
That can be a really challenging question, but read on and find out.
- Malaysian Head Hunters
A another Malaysian political joke you may enjoy. There's some truth in it though.
- History of SHIT
Bet you do not know the History of SHIT, find out here.
- Guys Over 60
Military Duty Redefined - Drafting Guys over 60
- Just Bob
honesty's still the best policy
- Speeding Lady
A mature (over 40) lady gets pulled over for speeding
- Lone Ranger Joke
The Lone Ranger and Tonto went camping in the desert. After they got their tent all set up, both men fell sound asleep.
- What's Your IQ
What's Your IQ is strictly a Malaysian Political joke. You'll enjoy it only if you know what's happenning in the country.
- Super Viagra
Grandma and Grandpa were visiting their kids overnight
- Too Much Facelift
A 54 year old woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she had a near death experience.
- Ayah and Allah
Strictly a Malaysian political joke. Check it out only if you have been following the Allah controversy in Malaysia.
- Catholic Coffee
There were four Catholic men and a Catholic woman having coffee. The first Catholic man tells his friends, "My son is a priest, when he walks into a room, everyone calls him Father".
- Don't Fuck Up
Morris and his wife go visit a marriage counselor.
- Birthday Gift
a real surprise...
- Dirty Old Men
Two old men decided that they are close to their last days and decide to have a last night in town.
- Dad's Always Right
Never argue with your dad.
- God Will Provide
He has no job, no plans and he thinks I'm God!
- Nudist Colony
Bob joins a very exclusive nudist colony. On his first day he takes off his clothes and starts wandering around. A gorgeous petite blonde walks by him and the man immediately gets an
- Man o Man!
When without money, wife becomes secretary; When have money, secretary becomes wife.
- Philosophy of life
Know where you're going in life... you may already be there!
- Molly The Camel
When in doubt, always ask first before the fact, not after.
- Chinese Jews
- Turkey And The Bull
- Me First
- Kids Know Everything
- Pain Transfer
- Why Women Can't Sleep?
- A Dead Duck
- Honorable Man
- Holy Prostitute
- Four Friends & Their Sons
- Moshe Plotnik's Laundry
- British & Singaporean English
- Best Lawyer Story Ever!
- Why Do We Shout When We Are Angry?
- Why I Forward Jokes
- Amazing Anagrams
- Response To A Marriage Advertisement
- Crazy Not Stupid!
- Hearing Problem
- Real Friend Test
- Church Jokes
Plato and a Platypus Walk into a Bar . . .: Understanding Philosophy Through Jokes (Paperback)
by Thomas Catart and Daniel Klein
This New York Times bestseller is the hilarious philosophy course everyone wishes they’d had in school
Outrageously funny, Plato and a Platypus Walk into a Bar . . . has been a breakout bestseller ever since authors—and born vaudevillians—Thomas Cathcart and Daniel Klein did their schtick on NPR’s Weekend Edition. Lively, original, and powerfully informative, Plato and a Platypus Walk Into a Bar . . . is a not-so-reverent crash course through the great philosophical thinkers and traditions, from Existentialism (What do Hegel and Bette Midler have in common?) to Logic (Sherlock Holmes never deduce)
"The zaniest bestseller of the year." - The Boston Globe
"I laughed, I learned, I loved it." - Roy Blount, Jr.
Get Plato and a Platypus Walk into a Bar here
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What Other Visitors Have Said
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Two Australian businessmen in Brisbane were sitting down for a break in their soon-to-be new store. As yet, the store wasn't ready, with no stock and …
Short Very Funny Joke - A Deal's A Deal Not rated yet
A guy walks into the doctor's office and says, 'D d d doc, I've bbeen stttutering ffor yyyears and IIII'm tttired of it. Cccan yyyou hehehelp me?’ The …
Very Short Joke - Blind Date Not rated yet
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Employment Joke Not rated yet
Go ahead and laugh! It's good for you. It never ceases to amaze me how some human minds think... Subject: Letter from HR To: Dear employees, …
WHEN I SAY I'M BROKE - I'M BROKE! Not rated yet
WHEN I SAY I'M BROKE - I'M BROKE! A little old lady answered a knock on the door one day, to be confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum …
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Ah Hua went for a job interview to be a secretary. When the manager saw Ah Hua's colorful attire and gold, white-highlighted hair, his mind is screaming, …
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KNOW THE SYMPTOMS.....PLEASE READ! Thank goodness there's a name for this disorder. Somehow I feel better, even though I have it!! Recently, I was …
Old Motor Not rated yet
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Lets Be Tolerant Not rated yet
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CHINA IS THE WORLD'S ONLY COUNTRY Not rated yet
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Saiful would love this Not rated yet
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Goddess and God Not rated yet
Singapore Joke – Goddess and God A European tourist was visiting a temple in Singapore when he noticed a statue, with two faces, a man and a woman, …
What I Want In a Man Not rated yet
What I Want In a Man - Original List 1. Handsome 2. Charming 3. Financially successful 4. A caring listener 5. Witty 6. In good shape 7. Dresses …
PREGNANT LADY Not rated yet
A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat. This time the …
Irishmen hunting in Malaysia Not rated yet
Two Irishmen flew to Malaysia on a hunting trip. They chartered a small plane to take them into the Taman Negara for a week wildboars or babi hutan. …
Best Tongue Twisters Not rated yet
Attention pupil, our lesson today is about pronunciation. Please read the statement below clearly and loudly. Don’t worry about the meaning of each statement, …
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To die like Christ Not rated yet
In Kuala Lumpur an old priest lay dying in the hospital. For years he had faithfully served the people of the nation's capital. He motioned for his …
Wisdom Not rated yet
Wisdom A guy is 84 years old and loves to fish. He was sitting in his boat the other day when he heard a voice say, 'Pick me up.' He looked around …
If you want someone who... Not rated yet
If you want someone who will eat whatever you put in front of him and never say it's not quite as good as his mother's . . . . . . then adopt a dog. …
Malaysian Astronaut Not rated yet
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Back when Vietnam was still separated as North and South, the president of South Vietnam then was President Thieu. As he was getting a lot of unfavorable …
Malaysian Joke - The Begger Not rated yet
A beggar to another beggar: I had a grand dinner yesterday. How? The other beggar asked. First beggar: Someone gave me a RM 100 note yesterday. …
I ALMOST DIED Not rated yet
Last night my wife and I were sitting in the living room chatting about things and life. Then we talked about living and dying. I said to her: “Dear, …
The Promised Land Not rated yet
The Preacher said: "If I had all the beer in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river". And the congregation cried, "Amen!" "And if I …
Singh is King Not rated yet
Sikh Joke A Sardar, a German and a Pakistani got arrested consuming alcohol which is a severe offense in Saudi Arabia, so for the terrible crime they …
Men vs Women Not rated yet
Perception... - Men Vs Women thinking: Women Friends chatting in office Woman 1: I had a fine evening, how was yours? Woman 2: it was a disaster. …
Don't Mess With Mommy Not rated yet
The Woman Marine Pilot The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of …
Donation to UMNO Not rated yet
A friend sent me this today: I was stuck in a traffic jam on the PLUS Highway last week. Nothing moved for half an hour when suddenly a man knocked …
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