Church Jokes
Best Jokes ;)
These are a collection of the best short church jokes which I have come across. Hope you like them too.
Baptizing A Drunk
A man was stumbling through the woods totally drunk when he came upon a preacher baptizing people in the river. The drunk walked into the water and bumped into the preacher.
The preacher turns around and is almost overcome by the smell of booze. Whereupon he asks the drunk, "Are you ready to find Jesus?"
"Yes I am" replied the drunk, so the preacher grabed him and dunked him in the river.
He pulled him up and asked the drunk, "Brother have you found Jesus?"
The drunk replies, "No, I haven"t." The preacher, shocked at the answer, dunked him into the water again, but for a bit longer this time.
He pulled him out of the water and asked again, "Have you found Jesus, my brother?"
The drunk again answered, "No, I have not found Jesus."
By this time the preacher was at his wits end so he dunked the drunk in the water again, but this time he held him down for about 30 seconds. When the drunk began kicking his arms and legs, the preacher pulled him up.
The preacher asked the drunk again, "For the love of God, have you found Jesus?"
The drunk wiped his eyes and caught his breath and said to the preacher, "Are you sure this is where he fell in?"
The Usher
An elderly woman walked into the local country church. The friendly usher greeted her at the door and helped her up the flight of steps, "Where would you like to sit?" he asked politely.
"The front row please," she answered.
"You really don't want to do that," the usher said "The pastor is really boring."
"Do you happen to know who I am?" the woman inquired.
"No." he said. "I'm the pastor's mother," she replied indignantly.
"Do you know who I am?" he asked.
"No." she said.
"Good," he answered.
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